The self in a time of constant connectivity

Ubiquitous mobile phones have transformed not just our modes of communication but self-perception. In facilitating a direct personal connection, be it via call, text message, or social media, they present the unprecedented challenge synchronicity, in which users must simultaneously navigate different contexts and plural identities. area Gilgit, northern Pakistan, young women particular struggle with scrutiny their phone use, given latter's potential to facilitate illicit relationships. They counter such threats moral integrity by consciously limiting range interlocutors. invoke “trust” curate more transparent, congruent version themselves as pious yet competent sophisticated digital users. This allows them creatively adapt new technologies and, most importantly, implement promote an Islamically sanctioned form courtship. By prompting processes individuation, paradoxically restrict enactment selves allow for creative improvisations. [personhood, self, trust, technology, phone, gender, Islam, Gilgit-Baltistan, Pakistan] موبائل فون کی ہر جگہ موجودگی نے نہ صرف ہمارے طرزمواصلات بلکہ تصوّرخود شناسی کو بھی بدل دیا ہے۔ براہ راست رابطے سہولت میں ، چاہے وہ کال ہو ٹیکسٹ میسج یا سوشل میڈیا ،یہ ایسے چیلنج پیش کرتے ہیں جن صارفین بیک وقت مختلف سماجی پس مناظراورکثیرشناختوں سے نبرد آزما رہتے ہیں۔ شمالی پاکستان کےعلاقے گلگت میں، نوجوان خواتین خاص طور پر اپنے کے استعمال پرسماجی تنقید و تشکیک رویوں مزاحمت کرنا پڑتی ہے کیونکہ تصورعام ناجائز تعلقات بنانے فراہم کرتا اس لئے اپنی اخلاقیات اور پاک دامنی لاحق خطرات کا مقابلہ رابطوں دائرہ محدود رکھ کر کرتی ہیں. عمل ٹرسٹ قایم ہوئے شفاف شخصیت تصوّر مستحکم بناتی ایک ذمہ دار سلجھے ڈیجیٹل صارف ہونے ثبوت یہ انھیں نئی ٹیکنالوجی اپنانے ساتھ اسلامی منظور شدہ ازدواجی نفاذ فروغ موقع ہے. انفرادیت بڑھاوا دینے باوجود خلاف قیاس کثیر شخصی تصّور البتہ اظہار تخلیقی امکانات دیتے [شخصیت، ذات، اعتماد، ٹیکنالوجی، فون، صنف، اسلام، بلتستان، پاکستان] The room was both noisy quiet. It cold outside on this evening capital Pakistan's northernmost territory so we all came together around hearth (see Figure 1). between preparing dinner big pot, middle-aged woman shouted into her “Hello? Can you hear me?” Her husband visiting relatives nearby valley where cellphone signal unstable. When gave up broken conversation, she withdrew bluish light screen. A few minutes later, another started ringing analog tone; belonged senior house, who had been quietly sitting next hearth. With one hand, dug under massive veil search left side bra. Having fetched out, conspicuously eyed screen effort recognize calling. woman's 18-year-old daughter, Sakina, seized opportunity take illiterate mother's phone.11 Pseudonyms stand names. Sakina didn't number either, since might belong unknown man, ignored letting go straight “missed call” log. But instead returning typing. shrill beep away: obviously exchanging messages someone. Since everyone else busy own tasks absorbed phones, Sakina's nervous glances went unnoticed. “Well, can trust me,” said, reacting my amused look, showing me SMS received—it from fiancé, reminding study hard school. spheres life are dominated varying degrees gender segregation, increasingly future spouses develop intimate, loving bond before married. Many women, whose marriages arranged, enthusiastically communicate spouses, after either engagement formal marriage (nikāḥ), moved public celebration wedding (shādī).22 Urdu words transliterated according ALA-LC system. Because local vernacular, Shina, does standardized writing, its romanization is here based research assistants’ transcriptions. Commonly anglicized terms conventional English spelling. All translations quotes Shina were made author except otherwise indicated. Weddings Gilgit-Baltistan's Shia community—unlike Muslim communities throughout world—involve two-step procedure, signing Islamic contract at time couple's nikāḥ serves official engagement, while implemented through shādī often years later. Until recently, period characterized spouses’ mutual avoidance shyness; traditionally low age, grow up, finish school, least husband, find job. Over last two decades, educated religious scholars (sheikhs) influential descendants Prophet Muḥammad (sayyids) argued that sole legitimate law. As these interpretations adopted university students devoted followers, celebrations revealed mere cultural rituals. Backed discourses facilitated availability younger generations consequently turned liminal phase virtual dating times results real-life meetings, picnic trips, even nights spent girl's parents’ house. Sunni Ismaili Gilgit-Baltistan usually conduct during celebrations, betrothed couples always chaperoned, certainly no sexual involvement allowed.33 While legalizes relationship, engagements fragile commitments easily dissolved, though without consequences. From first timid hours-long conversations displays conjugal happiness, provide platform negotiate marital intimacy necessarily having meet person. These couples, destined marry, compensate physical distance staying constant touch messages, mode “connected presence” (Licoppe 2004) creates sense alienation one's immediate surroundings. Older particularly mistrust people's absentmindedness when mediates individualized connection gives privacy. At same time, make difficult juggle several parallel identities (Sökefeld 1999) because render diverse once. technology generally celebrated for—or identified with—the endless possibilities creates, article explores contrary effect. Instead multiplying choice per se—as online matching sites, let alone random Tinder swipes—mobile imbue arranged romantic density. gotten engaged married, pushed boundaries acceptable decent behavior liaison. moment became conscious divided attention, justified slightly devious act pointing respectability. Invoking means containing threat being accused decay—or admit oneself. Studying Pakistani women's psychology, Katherine Ewing (1990) shows shifting frames reference explain inconsistencies person's allowing perceive herself whole—or conceive inner narrative coherence continuity, borrow Martin Sökefeld's (1999) account Gilgiti men manage multiple situationally conflicting availability, media chronology experience: become synchronized, strategies resolve subsequent tensions adapt. Mobile offer focus point mechanisms self-formation. Although sometimes used fundamentally ways, produces similar effects: presentation self-perception mediated persona pose challenges maintaining congruence self. What could previously held separate now reconciled, namely private personas, vary contexts, beloved modest emotionally resilient wife. I therefore trope plurality multiplicity runs contemporary anthropology connectivity invocation respectability constrain self-creation individuality. what follows, short outline field inquiry, then detail how Gilgit position relation perceived established norms pursuing over phone. dive ethnography gradual shift daughter development, wider context, discuss existing models subjectivation argue users’ ability out selves, thus constraining one-dimensional, curated forms thereof. ethnographies long demonstrated phones’ use impact shaped locally distinctive also acknowledge only hold liberatory trouble subjectivities. exemplifies lauded opportunities self-making threaten coherent Through affordance surveillance demand attention various simultaneously, emerge ambiguous tool Gilgit—and possibly world. invoked requires family leap faith, count appropriately disappoint them. strategy has, however, paid off roughly 1.5 million residents domain politics. part former princely state Jammu Kashmir, region has locked conflict Pakistan India 1947. populations allied partition, still lack constitutional rights, acquired status province. For Indian reported “trust deficit” authorities (e.g., Saraf 2020): many inhabitants oppose annexation India, whereas majority population identify Pakistani, feelings toward disenchantment failed hope (Ali 2019). region's political strong military presence well activities intelligence services. rise suspicions institutions’ role sectarian divide-and-rule 2019) created climate distrust among city's heterogeneous population. minority largely managed stay conflicts, skirmishes regularly erupted late 1970s. Such developments further flow goods, people, ideas Karakoram Highway (KKH) opened 1986, connecting China Islamabad. city developed administrative, economic, educational center, witnessed large-scale migration people ethnically, linguistically, religiously backgrounds.44 increased about 5,000 beginning 20th century (Kreutzmann 1991) 58,000 1998 (PCO 2000). census, 2017, there 120,000 suburbs (the census published; figure provided government source). vigilant environment, administrative district near conducted 14 months fieldwork 2011 2015 lived (mainly four) families urban, suburban, rural, settings.55 One house located old Shia-majority city, mixed inner-city neighborhood, Gilgit's outskirts Danyore, some Gilgit. Additionally, frequently visited urban neighborhood. Most households spoke vernacular learned understand roughly, carried Urdu, lingua franca multilingual region. Thanks key interlocutors ceased taken qualities WhatsApp Facebook. mainly took place franca, assistants helped slowly improving skills connections involve mix English. During dozens qualitative interviews men. rather generic general, close long-term acquaintances proved substantive content. Consequently, much data gathered participant observation daily life, I, families, mostly remained private, domestic sphere. enabled follow matchmaking (pre-)marital bonding female corresponding negotiations within families—and track afar media. line rules parda, is, segregation veiling, embody habitus respectable reserve modesty (Walter 2021). Even expected demonstrate diffidence each other front others. incessantly practiced ultimate inversion marriage, emotional attachment, tacit hints intimacy, imbued embarrassment. appreciated develops (Gratz 2006; Ring 2006), endorse companionship (Rosenbaum 2017), rarely couple, risk brief expressions affection. Fondness may detected soft voices speak other, playful tone communicate, silent exchange eye contact. Before give fewer clues takes privacy stays invisible those relationship. Given sensitive topic refer herein geographic obscure interlocutors’ identities, avoid essentializing rifts, obviate “sectarianizing” cementing distinctions groups. if Sunni, Shia, slightly, lives patri- virilocal home patterns, especially relating genders. Furthermore, recent high rate education, exposure rest influence South Asian pop culture, transnational affected Via KKH, connected centers work employment relatively scarce mountains, socioeconomic differences minimal: trade along KKH markets, growing tourism industry. Government jobs, come stable income prestige, highly sought require advanced level education. efforts Aga Khan Development Network (AKDN), education rural agenda decades resulted numbers school enrollment genders; parts girls’ recognized important asset reflects dynamics: despite village background, college-educated father get he his years, children received secondary continuing studies university. challenging Orientalist tendencies, stereotype oppressed woman, features prominent case process active individuation. examining uses create heed Nayanika Mookherjee's (2013, 3–4) call scrutinize “subjective views deliberate staging construction self—the way individuals think others.” tower constructed 2006, infrastructure very reached valleys remote terrain barely touched technologies.66 prone natural hazards, landslides disrupt cable connections, operating fixed lines mountainous profitable. Landline networks areas Skardu. Some catered rare wireless loop satellite phones. controlled Special Communications (SCO) operated Army, branch, SCOM, provider reaching valleys. Today, six network operators Gilgit-Baltistan: Telenor, Zong, Ufone, Mobilink, Warid, although three significantly smaller numbers. elsewhere, adapted needs: locals switch SIM cards operators; buy kin, do spend places nor enough money; nikāḥ, move studies. statistics unreliable, acting small-scale census. surveyed 30 five locations covering neighborhoods, including sects. approximate representative picture 2014: 54 percent 81 15 age owned There little difference environments, device 20s 30s. Spurred circulating reports men, quickly expanded, debates etiquette. To camouflage preoccupation parda practice reservedly blending background. Nevertheless, parents deplore premarital pre-shādī contact distraction school- housework. anxieties poetry songs. schoolteacher outskirts, example, wrote poem capturing negative punch line, “Satan's brother, come” (Shina: Shaitān'e cūno ŗa alūn). Moreover, eludes view, raises suspicion free space opens spoil women. worst-case scenario, would elope boy choice, stranger, gambling away reputation, security, family's popular demonization reflected songs Table 1), indicates older generations’ fear unease anything undermine values. Dystopian common reaction technologies, Nancy Baym (2010) notes, usage consequences appear beyond control. flirtatious romances chats, countries, societies structured taboo (Carey 2012; Costa 2016; Menin 2015, 2018; Pearl Kaya 2009; Schielke 2015). highlight tensions, juggling desire partner awareness morality disapproves strangers sex. rumors soar elopements, closer examination, turn greatly exaggerated. cellphones connect crush etiquette follows norms. Just talk street, neither pick numbers, befriend Facebook kin. found Horst Miller extend network. Rather, resemble preestablished kin friends university, work—and exceptions prove rule Andersen 2013). Especially whom know well, anonymity expression: “text normally say face-to-face encounter” (Pertierra 2005, 27). recently will likely unfamiliar interact content differs intend ever meet, cannot keep relationship open ambiguity suspense (Archambault 2017; Carey 2009). steps interaction easier offers chances “tool intimate sphere” (Ling 2008b, 159), exclusive access privatized (Gergen 2002) transform individual ones; thus, couple shares room, connect. actively integrity, embrace transparent avenues improvisation, courtship socially limits. proud educated, ambitious, self-determined displaying exemplary character, gained maximized freedom. She commuted alone, roamed siblings shopping, beauty parlor relatives, tutored earn extra money discretion. hardly involved decision-making. After listening siblings’ descriptions in-laws, consent declared trusted right her. “I knew grew happen,” said. partner. said I'd someone myself, ammī [mother] abbū [father] liked one, like him.” Emphasizing devotion, commitment family, refused any responsibility decision. body love India—in trends Asia—focuses versions include certain guided members (Donner Grover 2011; Robinson 2014; Titzmann 2015; Twamley 2014). negotiated degrees, caste, considerations play parties, resulting endogamous matches. across Asia establishing (Doron Jeffrey 2013), worth exploring collective decisions own. counts actual adults interpret justify contradictory views. benefited noninvolvement when, shortly pursued husband: able criticism asserting purity commendably marriage. exchanged Saqib, brother's weeks unpretentious affair male authority. actually met days later traditional reception ceremony house—the hatī bishok (kissing hands), called paraphrased angūṭī rism (ring ritual). Under curious eyes 80 newlyweds brought prayer. dressed ceremonial clothes bride groom, looked intimidated sat decorated sofa served stage. Relatives turns posing beside photos, did dare look other's direction Saqib seemed visitors afternoon, laughed stiff cautious gap them, clearly view photos took. see married unspoken implications intimidating thought. feel embarrassed,” “when him name” (instead “brother,” usual address age). point, other. culminated rings couple. golden ring ruby, shyly slipped plain silver onto finger. He solemnly handed smartphone gift. ceremony, familiarize husband's outer appearance. Anticipating interest, already filled himself. studied pictures, others friends, selfies gazed longingly viewer, His preinstalled card. And day, sent wife message. romance begun. weeks, intensified considerably. Beep, beep! Something lit thin mattress me, vibration followed special prayer tune month Muḥarram mourning calendar). hundredth previous hours, caused smile spread face. miss uuuu, januuuu!” whispered reading text. crawled pulled warm, synthetic blanket heads share details. day Saqib. almost resembled real-time albeit written language, Shina; national languag